


Bittersweet Ecstasy

by ouatavengers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Post-Avengers (2012), Rewrite
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 18:21:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18816448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ouatavengers/pseuds/ouatavengers
Summary: Tony looked up from his phone to see Steve approaching him with a sad smile on his face. Tony wished he could stop time to keep Steve from leaving and just watch him forever, smiling. Of course that would be unfair to Steve, he thought, but he wanted it anyway. That was his problem, he wanted things too much. And Steve? Well that was something he definitely could not have.





	Bittersweet Ecstasy

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place at the end of The Avengers, after Thor takes Loki and the tesseract back to Asgard and the remaining Avengers part ways. This is fic is basically me rewriting the MCU to fit my stevetony agenda lol. Please keep in mind that a) I'm not the best writer and b) I haven't actually written anything in years so please be gentle with me. I hope you enjoy! Sorry for grammar mistakes, i'm dumb lol :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place at the end of The Avengers, after Thor takes Loki and the Tesseract back to Asgard and the remaining Avengers part ways. This fic is basically me rewriting the entire MCU to fit my stevetony agenda lol. Please keep in mind that a) I'm not the best writer and b) I haven't actually written anything in a long time so please be gentle with me. I hope you enjoy! Sorry for grammar mistakes, I'm dumb hehe :)

Steve looked over at Tony to see him leaning on his car. Tony was the person he was dreading saying goodbye to the most. Don’t get him wrong, he’ll surely miss his other teammates, especially because he had no idea when they would be seeing each other again. But with Tony, Steve felt differently. Sadder, he guesses. He has no idea why. A couple of weeks ago he could barely tolerate the man. But now, the idea of leaving him sounded like the last thing he wanted to do.

Tony looked up from his phone to see Steve approaching him with a sad smile on his face. Tony wished he could stop time to keep Steve from leaving and just watch him forever, smiling. Of course that would be unfair to Steve, he thought, but he wanted it anyway. That was his problem, he wanted things too much. And Steve? Well that was something he definitely could not have.

The closer Steve got, the louder Tony could hear his heartbeat in his ears. Steve came up to him and smiled. “So I guess this is it,” he said.  
“Yeah,” Tony smiled back. “Guess so. What’s next for you?”  
Steve shook his head. “I don’t know honestly. Fury offered me a job in D.C. at S.H.I.E.L.D. but...” he trailed off. “Maybe it’ll be good for me, you know? To throw myself back into it, follow orders, serve.”  
Tony nodded slowly. “Maybe. Or maybe.... you could take a break? I mean, you did just kind of just save the world,” Tony smirked.  
Steve huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, well I kinda had help with that.” Tony’s eyebrows raised in response and he said “Oh, really?” which caused Steve to laugh for real. Tony thought about how that might be his favorite sound in the world. Then his thoughts were interrupted by the knowledge that Pepper was at home waiting for him. He shook the inappropriate thoughts about Steve out of his mind and focused back on the man in front of him. Captain America. But now that they’ve fought together, gotten to know one another, he only saw Steve.  
“To be honest, if I did take a break, I don’t know what I’d do with myself.” Steve continued.  
“You could do whatever you wanted to do! What you do for fun!” Tony waited a beat before asking, “What makes you happy?”  
Steve took a deep breath and then turned back to Tony with a sad smile on his face and said, “I don’t know.” and that, that broke Tony’s heart. He wished he could make Steve happy, to hold him until he was happy, to just kiss the sadness away. They looked at each other for a while and Steve could see in Tony’s face that he felt bad. Maybe Steve should have just lied.  
“Maybe you’ll find it in Washington,” Tony said, shaking Steve out of his thoughts. “Meet a nice girl?” even though that was the last thing Tony wanted him to do.  
Steve huffed out another laugh. “Right.” Steve took that to mean that he and Tony? Never gonna happen. “Meet a nice girl,” he repeated looking down. “Speaking of nice girls, how’s Pepper?” Another reason he and Tony could never be together.  
“Oh, she’s... she’s good, she’s uh waiting for me back at the tower.”  
“Right, Of course she is.” Steve smiled. Tony smiled back and they just stood there for a while thinking that maybe if they said nothing, the goodbyes would never come. Then, Tony’s phone buzzed. _Of course, of all the times in the world, it had to buzz NOW_ , he thought. It was Pepper, wondering if he was on his way. “Speaking of Pepper,” Tony said, then quickly putting his phone away and focusing on Steve again. “Where were we?” Tony smiled at Steve. He found himself smiling a lot when Steve was around. “Listen, whatever you decide about D.C., we’re here for you.”  
Steve smiled. “Thank you, Tony. I’ll let you know what I decide.”  
Steve extended his hand and Tony took it, his fingers curling around Steve's wrist, Steve's fingers curling around his wrist. He could feel Steve's pulse, how fast it was beating.  
“So, the next time you’re in the city-“  
“I'll call you,” Steve cut him off. He looked almost embarrassed then as if he thought the better of it and smiled.  
“Good. I’d like to think i made somewhat of a good impression,” Tony joked.  
Steve laughed. “Ha! When we first met? Definitely not.” Tony’s jaw dropped in response, an incredulous look on his face. “Oh come on, don’t pretend you didn’t feel the same when we first met,” Steve continued.  
Tony rolled his eyes, “Fine, when we first met I... I was a dick because I wanted to hate you. Or at least the idea of you, of Captain America.”  
Steve didn’t look offended. “You never told me why.”  
Tony sighed. “Because, growing up my dad would constantly remind me how I’d never be... anything, compared to you.”  
Steve's face fell. He looked like that was the saddest thing he’s ever heard. “Tony, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”  
Tony waved a hand, the hand that wasn’t still in Steve's grip. Their hands had stopped moving but neither had let go yet. Tony was grateful for it. “No, sorry I... I know you knew him before and I don’t wanna ruin your idea of him-“  
“Tony, I don’t care about him,” Steve cut him off. “I care about you.”  
And for some reason, Tony thought that was the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to him. He couldn’t say that to Steve though so he smiled and they just kinda stared at each other for a while. Again. Steve's hand still in Tony’s. Tony’s hand still in Steve's. They both looked down and just realized they were still shaking hands. Holding hands at this point. Steve looked back up and starting shaking Tony’s had again, putting his other hand on Tony’s arm. “Take care of yourself, alright?”  
“You too, Cap.”  
“Goodbye, Tony.”  
“See you around. Hopefully,” Tony added with a smile on his face.  
“Definitely.” Steve smiled back. Then he let go of Tony’s hand and arm and left him alone again. His arm was still warm from where Steve's hand was, his hand still warm from holding Steve's. He watched Steve walk away until Bruce came up to him with his bag in hand. “Ready to go?” he asked. Still watching Steve, Tony replied, “Yeah.” then plastered a smile on his face and turned to Bruce. “Let’s blow this popsicle stand,” which caused Bruce to laugh. He opened the door to the car and got inside, trying to push thoughts of Steve aside and failing.

As Steve walked to his motorcycle it was like he was leaving his happiness back there, with Tony. When he turned back around, Tony was smiling and getting into the car with Bruce. They were heading back to Stark Tower where Pepper was waiting for them. Waiting for Tony to come home. Their home. Tony looked happy, Steve thought. There was no way he could ever ruin that over what, some silly crush? No, it wasn’t just a crush and Steve knew that. That’s when he thought that maybe some distance between him and Tony would be good. Of course he’d miss Tony but he needed to stop thinking about himself. Tony was in a happy relationship and even if he wasn’t, he and Steve could never work out. Right? Steve realized he needed time to sort out his feelings away from Tony. He got to his bike and pulled the keys and his cellphone out of his pocket. Tony had gotten the phone and the motorcycle for him a couple of days after they had defeated the Chitauri. “In case we have to save the world again,” Tony had said with a smile when he gave both to him. Of course, Steve wanted to refuse. It was so generous of Tony but the motorcycle looked beautiful and expensive. Naturally, Tony wouldn't listen to any of Steve's protests so Steve took both and thanked Tony. Steve smiled at the memory as he opened his phone. He only had a couple contacts in it besides Tony’s. He clicked on the name ‘Nick Fury’ and pressed call. The line rang twice before Fury answered. “Hello?”  
“Director Fury, it’s Steve Rogers. About D.C., I’m in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's the first chapter! I hope you liked it? Feedback is welcome and appreciated. If you liked it. maybe share it? I don't even know if anyone will read this lol but I hope at least one person likes it :) Don't know when I'll write the next chapter... We'll see how this does first lol


End file.
